something i wanted to write to my 14-year-old self

i think everyone said this exact sentence when they were 14: “just because you’re young doesn’t mean you can’t be mature, just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re mature”.

it’s a ridiculous sentence to everyone past 14, it’s tempting to project your past self and laugh at these kids. but that’s not only ineffective, it’s also misses the point.

if i have to explain it to my past self, i would explain it like this…

imagine the 12-year-old you. they’re cringe as hell, right? the jokes, all the delusions they had, the way they treated people. for the past two years, you’ve fucked up a lot. but you learned a lot in the process.

would you trust them to do anything you do now?

now imagine yourself in next two years. you will also fuck up a lot. you will also learn things the hard way. would they trust you, at all?

communication is hard, no one can ever fully master it. i know you believe you can through sheer kindness. i know you love pointing at examples of adults fucking up, but that’s my point. you cannot solve communication, you cannot be so emotionally mature you become zen. the only thing you can do is spend time on earth to learn things the hard way.

i think it would be rude to look down on someone individually just for their age. but community building is a different story - having a more diverse age group really, really matters for a healthy community. the communities you’re in right now suck because they are filled with mostly teenagers who don’t know how to handle conflict. which i know you hate.

my point is, you should also hang out with older people. you’d be surprised by how kind people are.