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My suggestions to cohost staff

02 Jun 2024 · meow_d · #cohost
  • we’re currently lagging behind other social media. we should be able to see the a profile’s follower count and more…
    • X’s view count are really good for engagement since you can get nice numbers without anyone interacting, and it gives great insight for you to post better in the future
    • actually, we should outnumber them! we should be able to see everyone who unfollowed a profile. make it a big nice number.
  • your feed should be powered by algorithms as it’s the bare minimum nowadays. remove the following and tags feed, since no one’s gonna use them now.
    • your account should automatically follow random people if you interact with them too much.
    • it should also automatically unfollow people if the algorithm thinks you’re not interacting enough
    • implement an innovating ai algorithm that tries to balance your mutuals vs people with opposing views in an 8:2 ratio, empowering the user with optimum engagement(tm)
  • every social media should have DMs!
    • don’t let them disable it. don’t lead them to other sites. let them spend all their screen time on cohost.
  • add twitter style quote posting
    • you should be able to edit posts you quote. you know, to fix grammar errors and add emphasis and stuff.
    • you should be able to edit asks too

  • remove blocking and muting, because it’ll result in less engagement(tm). it doesn’t make sense, and even Tesla PayPal SpaceX X founder Elon Musk agrees.

  • who uses websites nowadays? we should make it mobile app only. make the api super expensive to squash out competitions trying to make a better app.

  • notifications for everything
    • notifications for unfollows too
    • you can’t turn off notifications. if the app detects you turning them off, you’ll be banned for two weeks and be publicly humiliated with a special badge that says “stinky piss baby”
  • you can’t turn off location, camera, and mic permissions. this is important to establish trust between you and the platform.
    • if they detect you turning them off, you’ll be banned for two weeks and be publicly humiliated with a special badge that says “diarrhea woman”

we should leave traditional moderation behind

  • ai powered badges. for example: it if thinks you’re right wing it’ll give you a right wing badge. this applies to every discourse, social issue, and philosophical stance.
    • allows you to state allegiances and virtue signal easily
    • the only way to chance your badge is to post more, encouraging you to prove your worth.
  • reports are still there.
    • every profile has a “notoriety level” based on the number of reports.
    • you get banned for a week for each report amount milestone (10, 100, 1000, 10000…)
  • there are no permanent bans (to facilitate free speech)

creator monetisation

  • look at Steemit (if you don’t know what that is, take a look at it). we should copy that. now every post can earn money, with the amount earned displayed everywhere, with leaderboards and stuff.
  • users are paid in an ERC-20 token called EBUX.
  • EBUX is NOT a pump and dump. anyone who makes such claims will be subjected to the “eggbug hater” badge. staff will also perform a ritual that supposedly guarantees your position in hell - it works by imagining a hypothetical super intelligent AI in the far future that will punish anyone who does not actively help in its creation, then by imagining if the AI loves eggbug and wants to punish eggbug haters and has business connections with Satan.

we should utilise the Blockchain

  • ownership of accounts are tied to ERC-721 Non-fungible Tokens on the Ethereum blockchain
    • if you lose access, you lose access to them forever
    • but you now can sell them on Opensea, creating an account economy
    • multi account is just multiple account NFTs in one wallet
  • monthly subscription of 5 dollars a month to unlock nft profile pics
    • tiers VIP and above requires you to pay 1% of the estimated value each month too
  • the estimated value of the nft pfp will place you into tiers, which unlockes more features. this creates a social hierarchy based on wealth. this is great because we all know that rich people are smarter and more responsible with power.
    • newbie (>0.01 ETH): CSS in profiles, the ability to temporarily mute someone for two weeks (you have to keep remuting them).
    • entrepreneur (>0.1 ETH): in combination to muting, the ability to temporarily block someone from commenting on your posts only, for two weeks (they can still quote post and DM you).
    • VIP (>1 ETH): the ability to remove or disable comments on your posts, view your follower’s drafts, permanently mute someone, and JavaScript® in posts.
    • VVVIP (>100 ETH): the ability to permanently block someone (they can still quote you), edit comments under your post, and view your follower’s DMs unless they’re VIP or above
    • VVVIP++ (>1000 ETH): view everyone’s DMs, unlimited SocialBooster® accounts, access to your follower’s phones (location, camera, and mic)

SocialBooster®

LLM powered ai agent accounts (no no they’re not bots)

  • uses:
    • defend you in your own comment section
    • defend you when you get cancelled
    • send hate to your opps
    • praise you, give you the validation you deserve cause you’re a such good entrepreneur/millionaire/billionaire 😘
    • solve your math homework
  • plans
    • 20 dollars a month for 20 accounts
    • 50 dollars a month for 22 accounts
    • 100 dollars a month for 300 accounts
    • for enterprise uses please contact sales

this is a shitpost

original post on cohost

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